the more i live the more i see how insecure people are. the world that we live in creates insecurities left and right and we as people accept the things that the world gives us. we think that if we do these things then we will feel better about ourselves... but what happens when you dont have time to do these things? say you wake up late one day and dont get the chance to put on your makeup and cute clothes? you go through the rest of the day feeling like you are ugly and like no one could like you like that because you somehow arent pretty enough. why do we see ourselves and think that we arent enough? when we look in the mirror why dont we think i am pretty just the way i am? why dont guys ever think that they are enough without having to be the super jock, when really they dont even like sports? when will we ever be enough?
it breaks my heart to think of people like this. the girl who starves herself just to get that one boy at school to like her and when he sees her he wishes she would just eat something because she was prettier the way she was before, he just couldnt find the right words to tell her how he felt. the boy on the football team who fakes an injury so he wont have to play anymore because he hates it but is afraid that he wont be accepted anymore if he quits. the girl who looks at the floor all day long and tries to do all she can to avoid talking to people because she feels like she isnt worthy enough to... all because she woke up late and didnt have time to put on makeup. the boy who committed suicide last night because he felt like no one loved him anymore, and the girl who is dying inside because she did.
why do we let the world tell us that if we dont fit into one of x amount of things then we are not worth anything? why are we so insecure that one comment from someone can make or break us? why do we allow ourselves to depend on what others think/say to tell us how much we are worth? this past sunday a good friend of mine gave his farewell talk and while he was speaking he shared a poem. it is entitled 'the price He paid'. it talks about the worth of a soul. it talks about how we have already been told what we are worth we just need to see and accept it. we are worth so much that Christ our brother gave his life for us so that we could be happy for all of eternity. i really liked this because i have been thinking a lot about how insecure people are lately.
i think of myself as a pretty confident person. i know who i am and i love myself for it. i refuse to wear makeup on a daily basis because i want people to like me for who i really am and what i really look like, not for someone i pretend to be. (i am not saying that makeup is the enemy here and that if you wear makeup you should stop. that is not my point at all i am just saying that is part of a personal decision that helps me to be more myself and more confident on a regular basis). i want to help those around me to be comfortable in their own skin and for who they are. i want to help people to realize how much they are truly worth. we all have our days where we feel insignificant and this is part of being human. but we are not just human, we are children of heavenly parents with so much potential and so much power over who we become and what we believe.
and so i say to you the girl who is hiding behind the hair and the clothes because you are afraid to show who you really are, you are loved for the person that you are afraid to show. you the boy who is too scared to talk to that one girl because you are afraid she wont like you, you are loved for the person that you think she wont like. you are loved by someone who can love you more than anyone else can, and because He loves you nothing else matters.
the more i live my life the more that i see how insecure people are. and the more i live my life i see the true potential that each and every single person has inside of them. if we will only stop being afraid to truly be ourselves we will become amazing people. we will accomplish so much more and we will change the world.
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. -Thich Nhat Hanh
When people believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. -Norman Vincent Peale
Friday, January 27, 2012
the price He paid
i got this poem from a friend a couple days ago and it relates to a post that i have been trying to write for sometime now. i really like this concept tho.
The price He paid
Is a rich man worth more than a poor man?
Is a stranger worth less than a friend?
Is a baby worth more than an old man?
Your beginning worth more than your end?
Is a president worth more than his assassin?
Does your value decrease with your crime?
Like when Christ took the place of Barabas,
Would you say he was wasting his time?
Well, how much do you think you are worth boy?
Will anyone stand up and say?
Would you say that a man is worth nothing
Until someone is willing to pay?
I suppose that you think that you matter.
Well how much do you matter . . . to whom?
It's much easier at night, when with friends and bright lights,
Than much later alone in your room.
Do you think they'll miss one in a billion?
When you finish this old human race.
Does it really make much of a difference
When your friends have forgotten your face?
If you heard that your life had been valued,
That a price had been paid on the nail,
Would you ask what was traded?
How much? And who paid it?
Who was he? And what was his name?
If you heard his name was called Jesus,
Would you say that the price was too dear?
Held to the cross, not by nails, but by love.
It was you who broke his heart, not the spear.
Would you say you were worth what it cost him?
You say No? But the price stays the same.
If it doesn't make you cry, laugh it off, pass Him by.
But remember the day when you throw it away,
That He paid what He thought you were worth.
How much do you think HE is worth boy?
Will anyone stand up and say?
Tell me, what are you willing to give HIM
In return for the price that HE paid?
Is a stranger worth less than a friend?
Is a baby worth more than an old man?
Your beginning worth more than your end?
Is a president worth more than his assassin?
Does your value decrease with your crime?
Like when Christ took the place of Barabas,
Would you say he was wasting his time?
Well, how much do you think you are worth boy?
Will anyone stand up and say?
Would you say that a man is worth nothing
Until someone is willing to pay?
I suppose that you think that you matter.
Well how much do you matter . . . to whom?
It's much easier at night, when with friends and bright lights,
Than much later alone in your room.
Do you think they'll miss one in a billion?
When you finish this old human race.
Does it really make much of a difference
When your friends have forgotten your face?
If you heard that your life had been valued,
That a price had been paid on the nail,
Would you ask what was traded?
How much? And who paid it?
Who was he? And what was his name?
If you heard his name was called Jesus,
Would you say that the price was too dear?
Held to the cross, not by nails, but by love.
It was you who broke his heart, not the spear.
Would you say you were worth what it cost him?
You say No? But the price stays the same.
If it doesn't make you cry, laugh it off, pass Him by.
But remember the day when you throw it away,
That He paid what He thought you were worth.
How much do you think HE is worth boy?
Will anyone stand up and say?
Tell me, what are you willing to give HIM
In return for the price that HE paid?
"Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forge thee, (insert your name here). Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me." -1 Nephi 21: 15-16
Saturday, January 21, 2012
just in case you forgot...
i know that right now it feels like you will never be able to let anyone else in but you will, and they inevitably will hurt you and this will keep happening because people are selfish and think of no one but themselves. and then one day you will meet a guy and you will decide to let one more person in just one more time... and he will NEVER hurt you. he will cherish you and love you the way that you deserve to be loved. and he will marry you and you will have the best wedding ever. but it wont end there. you will start a family together and he will find small ways to tell you just how much he loves you each and every single day. you will let your kids in and they will love you and you them. and then eventually you will die in the arms of that one man who can love you more than anyone else can. and it will all be worth it.
True love is not being with someone because you think you can be happy with that person, but because without that person you know you can never be. --anonymous
True love is not being with someone because you think you can be happy with that person, but because without that person you know you can never be. --anonymous
Thursday, January 12, 2012
i miss you, but i dont need you anymore...
hi. i miss you. you, the one who cut me so deep that i will never be the same again no matter how hard i try. it hurt then and it hurts now. and yet, somehow i miss you... i sit here and hold onto a little piece of you and think that if i could go back and change something, anything, just so that you would still be here i would. i needed you, and you walked away. and because you walked away it will never be the same between us anymore. it cant be, no matter how badly i want it to, because you gave up. you gave up on something that was more than a bond of friendship, so much more.
you decided that there were other things in your life that were more important than me. i moved to the bottom when i was once at the top. it was like you forgot all of the times i was there for you to hold your hand and to watch you cry and to tell you that everything would be okay. the times we hung out with my family, and the time we spent with yours. the laughs, the smiles, and the days we laughed so hard we cried. all the long conversations and wee hours of the morning that were spent by your side, they were all forgotten, it was as if none of it had ever happened... for you.
but it was different for me. i remember everything... the time you saw me in the hallway and got really close to my face and then said, "are you wearing brown mascara?" and then i laughed and nodded and you told me it looked really good on me, and as we turned to walk to class you tripped and i fell over you and we laid on the ground laughing until someone came and made us go to class. the first day of school after the christmas break. i walked in one side of the hall and you walked in the other at the same time. we saw each other and ran down the hall towards each other and you scooped me up in a hug and spun me around and we acted as though we hadnt seen each other for forever, when in reality we had hung out the day before... :) then there was the time you texted me at two in the morning and told me to come upstairs and open my front door. so i did and you handed me tacos from del taco and told me that you had made a late night run and had thought of me so, naturally, you had to get some for me too. and the way that my dad came upstairs as we were standing there talking and how he didnt get mad that there was a boy over at two in the morning because it was you, and you were family. all those times you would drive me to volleyball practice just because you could and because we werent done hanging out even though i had to leave. and how you would come back and pick me up after. how we would go and get dinner or ice cream and just sit in your car and talk forever. the days we would go to wendys and eat chicken sandwiches with honey mustard and fries with frostys. the school dances we would go to whether we were just in the same group or were each others dates. the dance where we were in the same group and i wanted to ask a really stupid guy to go with me and you warned me about him but i didnt listen and went ahead and asked him anyway. yet you never said 'i told you so'. you just sat with me and talked with me. and how you came over after and talked about it with me and made me laugh and made me forget all of the stupid things he had said and done throughout the night. and the time you carried tali up the stairs against her will when she had gone downstairs because her date sat in her chair because he knew she couldnt sit anywhere else. rev, r-e-ev. the days we would go to zupas and the days we got together and made chocolate covered strawberries just because we could. i remember it all.
and as i sit here and write all of this to you, knowing that you will never read it simply because you dont care anymore, i miss you. but i have something to tell you too. i am finally happy again. i have been for awhile now, but ive been too scared to tell you because i didnt know if i could handle talking to you. but i can, i am happy, and i finally dont need you anymore. yes i miss you and i will always remember the time we spent together. you were my brother and nothing will make me forget that, but i no longer need you. i am strong because of what you put me through. i now know that i can survive anything, i can do anything i set my mind to, and that i am someone who deserves to be treated right. you taught me so much by being my friend and by being with me, but you taught me so much more by walking away. so thank you. it hurt and it changed me, but its made me a better person.
so hi. i miss you. you, the one who cut me so deep that i will never be the same again no matter how hard i try. it hurt then and it hurts now. and yet, somehow i am happy...
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same." ~Flavia Weedn
you decided that there were other things in your life that were more important than me. i moved to the bottom when i was once at the top. it was like you forgot all of the times i was there for you to hold your hand and to watch you cry and to tell you that everything would be okay. the times we hung out with my family, and the time we spent with yours. the laughs, the smiles, and the days we laughed so hard we cried. all the long conversations and wee hours of the morning that were spent by your side, they were all forgotten, it was as if none of it had ever happened... for you.
but it was different for me. i remember everything... the time you saw me in the hallway and got really close to my face and then said, "are you wearing brown mascara?" and then i laughed and nodded and you told me it looked really good on me, and as we turned to walk to class you tripped and i fell over you and we laid on the ground laughing until someone came and made us go to class. the first day of school after the christmas break. i walked in one side of the hall and you walked in the other at the same time. we saw each other and ran down the hall towards each other and you scooped me up in a hug and spun me around and we acted as though we hadnt seen each other for forever, when in reality we had hung out the day before... :) then there was the time you texted me at two in the morning and told me to come upstairs and open my front door. so i did and you handed me tacos from del taco and told me that you had made a late night run and had thought of me so, naturally, you had to get some for me too. and the way that my dad came upstairs as we were standing there talking and how he didnt get mad that there was a boy over at two in the morning because it was you, and you were family. all those times you would drive me to volleyball practice just because you could and because we werent done hanging out even though i had to leave. and how you would come back and pick me up after. how we would go and get dinner or ice cream and just sit in your car and talk forever. the days we would go to wendys and eat chicken sandwiches with honey mustard and fries with frostys. the school dances we would go to whether we were just in the same group or were each others dates. the dance where we were in the same group and i wanted to ask a really stupid guy to go with me and you warned me about him but i didnt listen and went ahead and asked him anyway. yet you never said 'i told you so'. you just sat with me and talked with me. and how you came over after and talked about it with me and made me laugh and made me forget all of the stupid things he had said and done throughout the night. and the time you carried tali up the stairs against her will when she had gone downstairs because her date sat in her chair because he knew she couldnt sit anywhere else. rev, r-e-ev. the days we would go to zupas and the days we got together and made chocolate covered strawberries just because we could. i remember it all.
and as i sit here and write all of this to you, knowing that you will never read it simply because you dont care anymore, i miss you. but i have something to tell you too. i am finally happy again. i have been for awhile now, but ive been too scared to tell you because i didnt know if i could handle talking to you. but i can, i am happy, and i finally dont need you anymore. yes i miss you and i will always remember the time we spent together. you were my brother and nothing will make me forget that, but i no longer need you. i am strong because of what you put me through. i now know that i can survive anything, i can do anything i set my mind to, and that i am someone who deserves to be treated right. you taught me so much by being my friend and by being with me, but you taught me so much more by walking away. so thank you. it hurt and it changed me, but its made me a better person.
so hi. i miss you. you, the one who cut me so deep that i will never be the same again no matter how hard i try. it hurt then and it hurts now. and yet, somehow i am happy...
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same." ~Flavia Weedn
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